Some notes from Grayson
Perry, The Descent of Man (London: Penguin, 2017).
“Nearly every masculine
garment is coded to associate the wearer with dramatic versions of their gender
role. Every extraneous buttonhole, pocket and patch is not really about real
function but is as decorative as a lacy frill.” p66
“Whenever I talk
about masculinity, about its behaviours, feelings and aesthetics, it often
feels historical. A trait that Fight Club and much of the rhetoric
around manhood seems to exhibit is nostalgia. Feminism has always been forward
looking. Women’s rights will come, a woman’s role will change and expand, she
is working for a better, a more just future… Men, though, always seem to be
harking back to some mythical golden age (for men), when men were ‘men.’ A time
of hunting (dangerous, thrilling), a time of war (dangerous, thrilling and
boring), a time of heavy industry (dangerous, boring), times when all the
vintage men’s equipment – anger, violence, physical strength – could be put
through its paces.” p91.
“I'm not entirely convinced by the power of celebrity male role model. They
are exotic distant beasts. For the role modelling to work, I think boys need
the reliable constant drip-drip of day-to-day contact and attention from a good
man probably his father. A boy needs to have his mentor’s sensibility rub off
on him and reinforced frequently and casually, not just read about him on some
gossip website or see him on some chat show...
I find few focused examples of what men could or should be in a
gender-equal world…The problem is that because they are new there is no
compelling back catalogue … of role models… I can see the need for a new male
archetype, but is he sexy and thrilling? He’s practical and convenient, like a
washing machine. Men need a vision of masculinity that is not just predicated
on the thrilling highlights of an outdated romantic narrative - it needs to
celebrate the true everyday happiness that comes from stable intimate
relationships and a meaningful role in the here and now.” p104-5.
“Every so often in a bar I notice a man - often all muscles or joshing with
a raucous group of mates - who seems to have an unnamed fear in his eyes and a
nervous laugh. He seems to be showing fear and discomfort at where he has found
himself, as if he is trapped, playing out a role that does not fit. This man
emits anxiety, as though for a brief moment he has managed to glimpse around
the edge of the mask and realised that all the Investment he has made in being
a man is suddenly worth nothing. All the laughing at offensive jokes, all the
pumping iron, all the drinking, competing, all the suppressed pain and hiding
of sadness, all the colluding and sexist office politics, all the coping alone,
all the diseases diagnosed too late, all the hours of boredom talking about
sport, all of it, all of it, all of it, for what? To keep up the act - to be a
footsoldier for an imaginary leader that sits in the top corner office of our
subconscious. That imaginary man is of course the CEO of the Department of
Masculinity. This idealized self, this boss, is hegemonic masculinity... the
archetypal bully all men carry around in their heads tutting, sighing, and
sniping when they don't come up to scratch.” p118